Online Life: Privacy vs. Sharing

My friend Alexander recently sent me an article from Yahoo News, titled, Japan’s Online Scene isn’t so social. The article, written by Jay Alabaster, an Associated Press Writer, outlines the problem that Myspace, Google, and other popular American internet companies have encountered with Japanese users–They rarely reveal their true identities online.

The article is very interesting. I discussed it with some of my students, and they all agreed that putting your picture and name online is dangerous, because a criminal might use it to commit online fraud. But I think this really goes beyond a simple fear of unknown cybercriminals.

Certainly, the danger is there, especially since most people are very careless with their information online. But I think this also speaks to the general level of fear most Japanese have, and also to their tendency to not want to reveal anything about themselves. Mr. Alabaster writes:

Welcome to Japan’s online social scene, where you’re unlikely to meet anyone you don’t know already. The early promises of a new, open social frontier, akin to the identity-centric world of Facebook and MySpace in the U.S., have been replaced by a realm where people stay safely within their circles of friends and few reveal themselves to strangers.

Anyone who has lived in Japan or dealt with Japanese people is likely thinking, “Well, duh…” This is a culture where people grow up afraid of sticking out or making mistakes. People often do not look at you when they talk to you, and they always compliment you, even though they mean the opposite. I have had people compliment my clothes or appearance, but they really meant the opposite.

I got mad once when I was watching TV because a Hollywood actor came to Japan, and he got off the plane and said, 「お元気で！」　(”O Genki de!”), which basically means, “Farewell” or “Take care.” (He confused it with a similar greeting for meeting someone.) They smiled and bowed and told him his Japanese was good, but the newscasters made fun of him in Japanese. “Naturally,” the man said, “he is a foreigner so he can’t speak Japanese correctly.” He obviously spent five minutes on the plane trying to learn how to say hello, but made a mistake. What if I made fun of students who have studied English intently for 20 year or more, but can’t answer a simple question….? (Hint: it could get ugly.)

Another time, a student I’ve been teaching for several years told me he liked my shirt. I said, “That means you don’t like it, right?” He laughed. “How did you know?” He reluctantly admitted that he thought it was too bright. I have taught him for a long time, so we could laugh about it, and no harm was done. I think he felt embarrassed, but I thought it was funny. I can certainly laugh at myself, too. (Note to non-Japanese: if a Japanese person compliments you, and it seems a bit too much, exercise caution…)

It’s not difficult for anyone who has studied Japanese, because as you learn the language, you begin to know a bit about “Japanese logic,” though I don’t claim to be a master! These feelings of shyness and fear are built right into the language. Most Japanese tend to be non-confrontational and shy. When I speak Japanese, I feel that way, too. My personality literally changes! Language is more than just words and expressions; it is a codified expression of the values, feelings, and experiences of a group of people. In a culture where there are more ways to apologize than greet someone, and where even the slightest mistake can lead to extreme embarrassment and ridicule, it is only natural that people do not want to risk revealing too much about their personal lives.

And on this issue, I don’t disagree, though I think they might take it a little too far. I have a blog and pictures online. I also have joined some social sharing sites like Facebook (hate it; hardly ever use it), and Twitter (like it, but don’t have much use for it), I guess I am a bit more “old-fashioned.” I still believe in personal communication. You know, email, phone, coffeeshops…?

Aside from the fact that people could steal your information, or you could be fired or passed over for a potential job because of something you wrote online, I just find the idea of revealing everything about myself online a bit boring or narcissistic. And I am hesitant to share my political/religious/personal views in such a public forum. Why? Because most people can’t handle it, frankly. And because I think if you want to know me, you need to pick up the phone or send me a personal email message. (If you don’t know my email, you can click on the “Contact” button on the header above. It is just like sending me a private email.)

I also go to great lengths to keep pictures of family and friends private. I think part of that is a respect for their privacy, but also because I don’t to be at a family gathering and have people say, “No! You can’t take my picture, because I don’t want to show up on flickr!”

Balancing the need for privacy with the desire to share is not always easy, and I am still trying to strike the perfect balance. I wonder how much of my feelings have been influenced by living in Japan, because I didn’t really get into photography and blogging until I came here.

How about you? Do you share information online? And if so, do you worry about your privacy?